Being a Loving Witness to Undesired Behavior

As I travel the road of healing and growth, I witness behaviors I’m trying to rise above. It can be overwhelming because I’m not only trying to change these very behaviors, I’m coming face to face with how I used to unknowingly impact others firsthand. Let me just say, I feel a sense of “yuck”!

There’s something to be said about embracing who you are.

Jeff Probst

Lots of feelings surface. Like embarrassment, disbelief, irritation, regret, and remorse. Did I ever notice this before? If so, how could I gloss over it as normal, and believe it was ok?

Whether we realize it or not, what we don’t like in other people is what we don’t like in ourselves, which makes our dislike immediate and sharp! As I see my old behavior in everyone, everywhere, in varying degrees, my instinct is to avoid, avoid, avoid. The disappointment is too strong and raw, and it’s hard to watch. I’m left feeling rather guilty and quick to judge others behaving in these ways all-too familiar to me and in-reality, I’m judging myself.

You stand with the belligerent, the surly and the badly behaved until bad behavior is recognized for the language it is: the vocabulary of the deeply wounded and of those whose burdens are more than they can bear.

Greg Boyle

Now as hard as it is to watch at first, I continue to do my best to rise above judgment or irritation to show compassion and patience for the pain and fear people unknowingly suffer, because I recognize I used to be this person! These people, who remind me of my past transgressions, also help me to slowly dissolve the disappointment I’ve felt deep in myself. They are a necessary part of my growth and healing.

There are a few things I’ve learned about being a silent witness. I’m a peaceful presence for others who’re struggling. It’s a great reminder of how, if left addressed, pain or fear are so self-destructive they can cause major life difficulties. And, it’s a chance to celebrate my new path and acknowledge the courage to dig deeper and address past pain, heal it with love and honesty, and actively choose better today for a brighter tomorrow.

Embracing my origin has made me the confident and grateful person I am.

Jeannie Mai

Yes, it’s hard to watch a version of ourselves behaving badly, but we see where we once were and it can fuel our motivation to continue creating a better future. Let’s embrace it like a wise, old friend helping us to stay on track because they see our potential and that we’re destined and capable to be so much more than we are today. ❤

Keep it Simple,

Just Teri

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