Authentic Living, Daily Balance, Growth, Positive Choices

Seeking a Like-Minded Friend in Times of Personal Change

Life is much more manageable when we find like-minded people. This I learned in my early days of awakening to my path of self-discovery. I quickly realized I was alone. Not many people seemed content, or had any curiosity or interest in expanding themselves. They definitely weren’t thriving. They were just getting by, just making it through the day, just “there”.

With my eyes newly opened, I wanted more. No, I needed more. I needed to find like-minded people who were digging below the superficiality of the material world and embracing what was there, born within us, but unknowingly disconnected through socialization. The need for love, connection, true peace and joy was found in nothing that money could buy.

So, I went to find like-minded people.

The values of the world we inhabit and the people we surround ourselves with have a profound effect on who we are.

Malcolm Gladwell

You know what I found? People just didn’t think too much about what’s deeper than what’s on the surface. Hypnotized by the illusions the rich and famous cultivate. Asking questions that required more thought than their latest adventure, latest gossip, sports scores, new purchases, or celebrity news, they gave me an irritated look that said, “What are you even talking about?”, or a lost look of “Huh?” They’d say I was thinking “too deep” and “don’t give it too much time or energy”. I should “just lighten up and have fun!”

To be fair, this was in the early 1990s and people just didn’t think too deeply about much of anything. It was a social stigma to look too closely into our psyche and that was left for people who needed a “shrink”, as they were called in those days. Nowadays, it’s common and socially acceptable, if not hip, to see a therapist. Not only for people healing past-tragedies, now it’s a sign of “self-care and betterment”. Which is absolutely true!

So, I took a simpler, non-intrusive route. I learned to listen closely to people’s stories. I filtered certain words, attitudes and especially behavior. Things that suggested balance, forgiveness, patience, compassion, self-care, boundaries and all-around positive attitude captured my interest. These were the like-minded people I sought out for conversation and knew I’d find “good input”.

I learned to limit or steer clear of people that consistently said things like judgment, jealousy, anger and irritation, vengeance, or martyrdom. Before I’d read Jim Rohn’s famous quote, “We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with”, I felt this truth intuitively, as well as the weight of their negativity and so guarded my newly acquired mission vigilantly.

I met so many people in my early days of personal growth. In fact, I firmly believe being open and receptive was a beacon that drew other awakened people to me, at the right time. (Please note I’m not referring to being “culturally woke). These were people who also had their antennae up for people like me and when I popped onto their radar, they connected.

Here’s the deal. It’s always helpful to have a buddy of like-mind to talk to when we leave the well-worn path of our culture’s social norm. It’s powerful to find someone to share our struggles with, find alternative ways of seeing the world and our interaction with it, i.e. healthier attitudes, values and beliefs.

Five types of people you want to surround yourself with: the inspired, the passionate, the motivated, the grateful, and the open minded.

Author Unknown

It’s mutually beneficial to find someone to brainstorm ideas for handling ways to minimize miscommunication, confrontation, control issues or being self-critical, because it’s a gradual process. Take it from me, it’s not brave or strong or extraordinary to fly solo. It’s unnecessary. We’re not meant to go it alone. The buddy system serves to help navigate and, also comfort, inspire and uplift. So, please don’t deny yourself the benefit of finding a like-mind on your journey of the path least taken. It can make a world of difference ❤

Keep it Simple,

Just Teri

22 thoughts on “Seeking a Like-Minded Friend in Times of Personal Change”

  1. Deep thinking is something people still don’t like I feel. We are certainly influenced by the company we keep. I think listening is a key skill. I sometimes find my self remaining around those who have a negative or shallow stance in life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh I agree❣️❣️

      It makes the like-minded people we find a treasure but it’s not an easy task.

      I do my best to limit negative or superficial folks but when I can’t I do some deep breathing 😉😌

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Excellently said and filled with truth. I attest to the same as it is wonderful to find like-minded and self-aware people to connect with. I love the part about being the average of the 5 persons we constantly associate with, an eye-opener and even more reason to be diligent with who we really let into our circles.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for your comment Pene ❣️

      The truth is many times it’s not super easy to find like-minded people and takes effort. And patience 😆❤️ but I figure if I’m pursuing what I love (not including covid times) so I’m already rewarded with being engaged with meaningful ideas, events and people. 🥳

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Great post, and very true. Can I ask where/how you found your like-minded people? I admit I’m an introvert, but I find it really difficult to meet new people who are interested personal growth now I’m married with children, in my mid 40s and with a busy life. I’m interested in your path and process! Hope you have a great weekend! 💛🌟

    Like

    1. Thanks Collette❣️ I wrote this post hoping other people have found themselves in this place too.

      I truly believe being dedicated to personal growth attracts like-minded people to us and us to them. It’s kind of like a magnetic experience. Both parties see the signs of wanting more than just making it through the day – which sometimes this is all we can do, and it IS an accomplishment.

      Being an introvert, I suggest you continue to remain open and ready to receive like-minded people and it’ll happen.

      I truly believe the moments of connection are divine, and serendipitous.

      As far as a more constant companion, it can take a long time waiting for them but in the past I’ve found them at school or sports functions or places like the gym and one is all we really need.

      I’ve discovered it’s harder when we’re busier and covid restrictions for group functions but when we return to a more “normal” I plan to check out activities and events that engage and interest me.

      A writing class, or writers group or poetry gathering or slam poetry, Bible study or book club may be good places to start. Perhaps yoga or a meditation groups when permitted. 😉

      Stay engaged to what is driving you now and and you’ll find like-minded people eventually while also expanding your interests❣️🤗🥰

      Like

  4. I very much relate to everything you say. It was disappointing to me at the least to be responded with – what are you talking about? Only lately I am finding people openly welcoming ‘deep’ conversations.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m so happy for you. It’s magic when you cross paths with these gems.

      It’s great to have lighthearted talk but helps when you can bear your soul to others that get how you’re feeling and what you’re trying to accomplish. You only need one good friend like this that gets you❣️🤗

      Thanks for commenting ❤️🤗

      Liked by 1 person

  5. 🧡 Here We ARE; it’s ALL of Us especially The Silent:

    ON EXPERIMENTING AND EXPERIENCING IN OUR SHARED 3DENVIRONMENT

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    ◇ Wot I Wrote; just ‘cos I MADE THIS!!!…

    “💜 An Experiment is Neither Successful Nor UnSuccessful EveryOne; an Experiment either Continues or DisContinues…for example Sexual and Romantic Experimentation results in Continued LifeLong Marriage or a Long BitterSweet Trail of Exes; what an Experiment Does is to Provide an Outcome from Experience and what We Do with that Experience is Entirely Up To OurSelves…there is an Accountability and Responsibility for ALL of Existences; so please Take Care of Others and, Most Importantly, please Take Care of YOURSELF!!! because it’s Necessary to Love YOURSELF!!! and NOT!!! at ALL Selfish…this is In Order To Be Nice to Others WhatEver The CIRCUMSTANCES!!! but Do Set Boundaries and Assert Them either Gently or Aggressively; in Other Words; it’s OK To Be Self-Ish and Self Protecting without Pre-Meditated (Punishing 🤔 ?) VIOLENT!!! Behaviour Be it Physical, Psychological and/or Soulful VIOLENT BEHAVIOUR!!!

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    …💛💚💙…”

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    …◇◇◇…

    Like

      1. 💜 Thank YOU!!! for YOUR!!! Kind, Supportive Words JT; however I AM a Shower NOT!!! a “Leader”, I AM an Optional Guiding Light…it’s Crystal Clear Clarity that We HAVE!!! to Follow Dark Parental “Leaders” while People like YOU!!! Can CHOOSE!!! Who to Follow; it is NOT!!! Obligation, it’s a CHOICE!!!

        …💛💚💙…

        Liked by 1 person

              1. 💜 The Ascension Assistance Team Builds ItSelf; so a Very Warm Welcome from ALL of Us Awake, Aware, Alert and Humble

                …💛💚💙…

                Liked by 1 person

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