What happens when the new and wonderful changes we’re making in our life makes what we used to do and who we used to do it with feel off? Have you found yourself in times of growth and change, struggling to be around the old, familiar situations or the old gang? It happens, especially at the beginning of our journey, and it can be complicated, confusing and creates doubt that we’re even on the right path.
Basically, we feel off and what used to feel right, doesn’t. I’m not talking about toxic people or places that we need to remove ourselves from immediately for our mental, physical, or emotional health. I’m talking about our usual friends and places we’ve enjoyed in the past. Typical life as we’ve known it, that’s done nothing wrong and hasn’t changed, feels all wrong. No, nothing’s changed. We have!
Nothing ever grows to its full potential by remaining the same.
It can be hard to put a finger on it, but it could be something like we don’t enjoy the same activities as we used to with our crew and maybe we’re saying “no” to invitations more often. It’s possible that we notice we hold back what we really want to say in the conversations. Things feel different and not a “good” different, more like “this is uncomfortable” different.
Well, it’s likely we aren’t enjoying the old, familiar activities because we are seeing things differently now. We have different goals for ourselves emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally. Our new direction may be completely opposite of our past, so why would we continue to enjoy it?
When we consciously and deliberately develop new and better habits, our self-image tends to outgrow the old habits and grow into the new pattern
Maxwell Maltz
If we’re holding back in conversation, it’s because we “know” our new perspective, new beliefs, and new attitude, will shine through and it most likely won’t be understood, shared, or respected. We know our friends well enough to know what’ll happen if we break formation and go rogue with thoughts and ideas that may be-seen-as controversial or weird. This is the hardest part because it goes against living authentically. We’re hiding who we really are, and it feels so fake!
We say “no” to invitations we used to say “yes” to because our priorities have shifted. They may be more family oriented, career oriented or health oriented. At the moment, we’re giving more time and attention to our internal world than the external world. Perhaps we’ve neglected our inner state of balance in exchange for a long-list of worldly distractions for much too long and the time is now to do maintenance, repair or build new in our personal, inner-world landscape. Social invitations are no longer at the top of our list of “to-dos”. Not at this moment.
When you are transitioning to a new season in life, the people and situations that no longer fit you will fall away.
Mandy Hale
I’m going to suggest something that, deep down, you may already know. It may be time to let go of the “old way of life”. We’ve gravitated towards different likes, wants and ways of engaging the world. People come into our life to teach us something, to accompany us for a short while and the special few, for a lifetime. It’s time to let go in love and gratitude. Be appreciative of the people and places in our lives that’ve brought us joyful experiences and been part of the person we’ve grown to be today. Now, it’s time to move on to what’s been waiting for us to discover. It’s ok. It’s part of living and growing. The truth is, nothing ever grows to its full potential by remaining the same. ❤
Keep it Simple,
Just Teri
So well put! I’ve changed so much since my drinking days and I feel like I now have a smaller, close circle of friends. Quality over quantity on all counts.
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I agree Collette❣️Quality over quantity. They do say we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. Hmmmm…that’s a good thing to consider 😳
Your blogs are so genuine about the ups and downs of major lifestyle changes and are universally inspiring and thought provoking for all people struggling with personal change ❤️🤗
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So so true all you say, yes – No, nothing’s changed. We have!
I have had these experiences in the past and my recent shifts have been very deep with regards to this. I just couldn’t help but feel fake and yet there seemed no way to be authentic and/or move on. It created quite unease and dis-ease within me. All my recent posts have been to help me express and align with my shifts, share boldly and take empowered steps in the direction I need.
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Ah, I’ll have to check out your recent posts❣️It’s so helpful and inspiring reading about other people’s truths and realizations during times of change and struggle.
Writing to share with others, or even sloppy journaling, is a powerful tool to work through the dis-ease and clear the rampant thoughts and emotions that keep us from integrating with our new direction.
What you share helps others who are in major life transition❣️❣️🤗
Keep it coming! ❤️
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💛🤗
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It is so true , to grow we have to let go. We have shifted and it is important to be true to ourself, and appreciate others ( the ones we are now shifting from). If we aren’t true our ‘shifted’, our development, our change then we become miserable. As we have one foot in the old and one in the new. We can’t have balance living like that.
Well written and beautiful postt. Happy Easter Weekend
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I agree. 💕
We can unintentionally bring misery during early transition by fearing the coming changes. Surrender is necessary. And faith❣️
And definitely the imbalance created from resisting!! Excellent point Bella❣️Thanks ❤️🤗
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Wonderful write-up. I can totally relate to it. Letting go off ‘the old way of life’ is quite unpleasant and hard, especially at the start of a new journey. This old way also makes up for the so-called comfort zone.
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Oh so true Dr Maini!! 😀
That cushy comfort zone ends many journeys because the “new” seems way too difficult. 😉
For me the beginning of any change is always the hardest part. It’s the very first baby step, which actually feels like a huge leap, that gets me and then it gets easier with each additional step. ❤️
Always good to know we’re not alone❣️🤗
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A true eye opener. As we grow, change is inevitable.
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Absolutely ❣️
I remember my naive surprise when one, seemingly unconnected, tiny change spread to affect many different aspects of my life.🤗
The good news is the changes are for our growth and betterment❣️🤗 We just need to believe ❤️
Thanks for your comment ❣️
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