Awareness, Choices, Controlling our Emotions, Emotions, Growth, Mindfulness, Personal Resonsibility, Positive Choices

I Can’t Stop This Feeling

Sometimes, like it or not, we can’t stop our feelings. Yeah, times like these, our feelings interrupt our best intentions for change. Intended changes, in perception, attitude, reaction, and action we’d like to happen, get derailed as strong feelings hijack our focus for attempt to introduce new behavior.

Jealousy, insecurity, perceived unfairness, disrespect, abandonment, or neglect can all disrupt our best laid intentions to act or react differently from past situations. I’ve had days like these, and I’ve wished for a do-over. A “reset” button would work great too! If only this were possible. It’s kind of like an out-of-body experience. We know we shouldn’t do or say or react to something, but we just, can’t, stop ourselves! It happened quite often in my younger years when I had a long list of changes I wanted to make, and that list was like staring up at Mt. Everest.

Only during hard times do people come to understand how difficult it is to be master of their feelings and thoughts.

Anton Chekhov

Regret is instantaneous and disappointment is bitter, because here is our opportunity to make a change that we know we want and will help us feel better. What happens? We fail spectacularly. And I use “spectacularly” because our so-called failures are only results. These are our learning moments. The events that urge us to assess, recalibrate and recommit to doing better “next time”. And, oh, there will be a “next time”. Life will see to that. So, I do my best to see any unsatisfactory results as a litmus of my progress.

You don’t have to be positive all the time. It’s perfectly okay to feel sad, angry, annoyed, frustrated, scared, or anxious. Having feelings doesn’t make you a ‘negative person’. It makes you human.

Lori Deschesne

At times, our feelings overwhelm our intention for change and instead seek vindication, validation, or immediate results. We don’t want to plant the seed and wait to see what happens. We want what we want right now! It’s ironic how we can even get upset when other people don’t or can’t make instant changes because it would resolve everything. Really? We’re asking, no expecting, them to accomplish a task that incidentally were currently failing at. Change is a slow process. Unless it’s a life-threatening circumstance demanding instant changes, genuine change takes time and consistency and doesn’t follow the most direct, or shortest path.

We most certainly will have moments where we can’t stop our feelings. It’s ok. Really, it is! When we commit ourselves to making healthy changes, we’re going to have moments where we can’t stop our feelings and subsequently our thoughts or mouths or actions fall back to our old ways.

What’s important is that we remain patient to the process. Eventually, we’ll use our feelings as a compass to guide us. When they surface, we’ll see where we are in relation to where we want to be. We see what needs tweaked, and this can help reinforce our commitment to improving our life situation. Most importantly, it’s an opportunity to practice giving grace to ourselves, which is a most beautiful skill for exercising self-love.

Personal development is the belief that you are worth the effort, time, and energy needed to develop yourself.  

Denis Waitley

So, please remember on our quest for change, instead of avoiding, suppressing, or ignoring our feelings, let’s appreciate them for keeping us in tune with the behavior changes we need to be the best version of ourselves. There are and will be many times we can’t stop our feelings, but they serve us by indicating what parts need loving attention to heal or grow. Repeat the positive, and do our best to replace or resolve the negative. Just keep trying! ❤

Keep it Simple,

Just Teri

17 thoughts on “I Can’t Stop This Feeling”

  1. Great post, and so true! I love the quote by Susan David, PhD, that says “Emotions are data, not directives.” Like you said, we use them as litmus tests for what needs attention in our lives. 🌟💖

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Excellent post, Teri. So true. I had a couple of challenging days this week, emotions were in full swing, yet today, due to years of innerwork, I can watch, listen, and learn. Of course, this doesn’t mean I don’t react at times. I do. Yet, it is less today. Being patient with ourselves, is very important, as is getting to know our feelings and why we are having them, as you write. Wonderfully written.❤️😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well thank you Jeff but your comment was a BRILLIANT testimony of how progress works. And never ends but gets easier. Great shout out for patience 😍

      Thanks for sharing this and I’m happy you come out the other side of a challenging week ❣️❣️😃❤️🤗

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Well written, Teri! And true. Oh the times I’ve acted and reacted based on feelings and not logic. If I could take back moments! 😊 But we are humans and we need to keep moving forward learning and growing. And keep working to be the “best version of ourselves”!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Lisa❣️❣️

      I love how you claim “if I could take back moments” – and let me suggest that you’re NOT alone in that claim 😘

      Thankfully there comes a point we have a moment where real change follows and it gets a little easier to “manage” our feelings. ❤️🤗

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Your article is so thorough and true all that you say. We mostly function from a certain patterning that mostly has a momentum of its own. It takes much longer than we like, consistent work and awareness to bring changes that stay with us. So much compassion for self and others too is required on the way.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love the way you described the challenge of our feelings. It IS hard to stop the momentum created by our patterns!

      And I love how you highlighted the importance of self-compassion during this time of growth and change ❣️❣️

      Nicely said ❤️🤗

      Liked by 1 person

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