Sometimes, like it or not, we can’t stop our feelings. Yeah, times like these, our feelings interrupt our best intentions for change. Intended changes, in perception, attitude, reaction, and action we’d like to happen, get derailed as strong feelings hijack our focus for attempt to introduce new behavior.
Jealousy, insecurity, perceived unfairness, disrespect, abandonment, or neglect can all disrupt our best laid intentions to act or react differently from past situations. I’ve had days like these, and I’ve wished for a do-over. A “reset” button would work great too! If only this were possible. It’s kind of like an out-of-body experience. We know we shouldn’t do or say or react to something, but we just, can’t, stop ourselves! It happened quite often in my younger years when I had a long list of changes I wanted to make, and that list was like staring up at Mt. Everest.
Only during hard times do people come to understand how difficult it is to be master of their feelings and thoughts.Anton Chekhov
Regret is instantaneous and disappointment is bitter, because here is our opportunity to make a change that we know we want and will help us feel better. What happens? We fail spectacularly. And I use “spectacularly” because our so-called failures are only results. These are our learning moments. The events that urge us to assess, recalibrate and recommit to doing better “next time”. And, oh, there will be a “next time”. Life will see to that. So, I do my best to see any unsatisfactory results as a litmus of my progress.
You don’t have to be positive all the time. It’s perfectly okay to feel sad, angry, annoyed, frustrated, scared, or anxious. Having feelings doesn’t make you a ‘negative person’. It makes you human.Lori Deschesne
At times, our feelings overwhelm our intention for change and instead seek vindication, validation, or immediate results. We don’t want to plant the seed and wait to see what happens. We want what we want right now! It’s ironic how we can even get upset when other people don’t or can’t make instant changes because it would resolve everything. Really? We’re asking, no expecting, them to accomplish a task that incidentally were currently failing at. Change is a slow process. Unless it’s a life-threatening circumstance demanding instant changes, genuine change takes time and consistency and doesn’t follow the most direct, or shortest path.
We most certainly will have moments where we can’t stop our feelings. It’s ok. Really, it is! When we commit ourselves to making healthy changes, we’re going to have moments where we can’t stop our feelings and subsequently our thoughts or mouths or actions fall back to our old ways.
What’s important is that we remain patient to the process. Eventually, we’ll use our feelings as a compass to guide us. When they surface, we’ll see where we are in relation to where we want to be. We see what needs tweaked, and this can help reinforce our commitment to improving our life situation. Most importantly, it’s an opportunity to practice giving grace to ourselves, which is a most beautiful skill for exercising self-love.
Personal development is the belief that you are worth the effort, time, and energy needed to develop yourself.Denis Waitley
So, please remember on our quest for change, instead of avoiding, suppressing, or ignoring our feelings, let’s appreciate them for keeping us in tune with the behavior changes we need to be the best version of ourselves. There are and will be many times we can’t stop our feelings, but they serve us by indicating what parts need loving attention to heal or grow. Repeat the positive, and do our best to replace or resolve the negative. Just keep trying! ❤
Keep it Simple,