When I first embraced awareness in my twenties, I was bombarded with a long-list of behaviors and corresponding attitudes I felt needed attention. I was like a child in a candy store. “I want this, and this and this, and not that, or that, and definitely not that!” My energy was also like a child who had been sampling all that candy and was on a whacked out sugar high. Rushing here and there, my attention quickly diverted to something else, never giving full concentration to one, single thing.
We can be like this as adults too. When we begin to look within ourselves and want to know ourselves better, understand ourselves better and choose better, we have a tendency to have child-like attentiveness and bounce back and forth with too many things.
The hunter who chases two rabbits catches neither”Confucius
Please read this twice: It’s impossible to change everything at once. Impossible! We can want to improve many things in our life. We can want to feel more confidence and self-control and the peace of choosing more positive, cooperative and advantageous behaviors, immediately. We can want to elevate our life from conflict, desperation and fear, and the pain it causes, right this very second. Still, it won’t be instantaneous.
Change will happen. It simply doesn’t happen with everything, all-at-once. We’re at the beginning of a very long, never-ending journey of self-discovery and growth that unfolds little by little. Everything is connected and some things need to happen before others can be realized!
I came to the conclusion that I needed to figure out my biggest priority. I committed myself to sort through the patterns I had been diligently observing, and what was lacking in my life, what was causing pain or disruption and what I knew deep down, was exhausting me, depleting my energy, and choking off my joy. As I followed the strings of emotions that were tied to the undesirable behaviors in my life, I found a common attitude that was causing the biggest “ache”. I needed to practice more acceptance. So, that was where I dug-in.
Change will happen. It simply doesn’t happen with everything, all-at-once.”
What I had done was discover focus. Focus is defined as “the center of interest or activity; the state or quality of having or producing clear visual definition.” James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, says of focus, “In order to concentrate on one thing you must, by default, ignore many other things.” Focus is the key to successfully completing any task or challenge because you give undivided attention to the behavior or thought that needs improvement, and once change is noticed and consistent, we can move on to the next priority to insert actions and thoughts that contribute to more peace and joy.
Always remember, your focus determines your reality”George Lucas
When awareness rises up to know ourselves better and live differently than we’ve been, we need to get specific for the “exact” feeling we’re after or our effort is displaced on too many things, and none of them receive the energy required for improvement. Take time to ask, “What matters most to me? What behavior or attitude is so disruptive that altering, or replacing it would benefit me and those around me?”. Then concentrate on behaviors that support that behavior only. If you are committed and consistent, and patient, little by little, you will move closer to success. ❤
Keep it Simple,