The Catastrophic Nature of a Lie

Lies. To me, they are one of the most destructive powers on the planet!

It hurts if I’ve been lied to. It hurts when I see other people lied to. It hurts when the nature of a person is to fabricate a lie, and some people do this for a living, or perhaps recreation! Big, fat, lies. This is contrary to a little white lie that spares someone’s feelings…

“dinner was delicious”

“yes, that outfit looks great on you”

“I’m sorry but I can’t come to your party, I already have plans”

“your new haircut looks fun, edgy!”

Yes, these too are lies; however, the intention is not to protect ourselves, but to protect someone we love. I’ll be honest, I try to speak even the tiniest sliver of truth to whatever I feel as opposed to telling a white lie, but it happens. Telling a white lie typically depends on the capacity for the recipient to handle the truth and let’s be real, if the person isn’t ready to learn the lesson on the value of honesty, it can be harmful if not detrimental for everyone to force it!

The catastrophe I’m talking of is the self-serving lies. What do they serve? The ego. Here, lies will protect the illusion that the world revolves around the person and are usually fueled by the fear of death. Not physical death but the death of who they think they are. Death of the Ego. People will go to great lengths to perpetuate and protect their sense of self and they’d rather tell lies that hurt others than accepting responsibility for poor choices or poor behavior and suffer the consequences.

Things come apart so easily when they have been held together with lies.”

Dorothy Allison

What I’ve witnessed and felt in myself when lied to is shock, disbelief, betrayal, numbness, insecurity. At the onset, it’s hard to be rational or logical. The world seems to have turned upside down. What once was believed good and strong, in fact, is revealed as deficient and a sham.

Like any natural disaster, the clean-up takes time. First and foremost, we need time to work through the pain. Take time to feel it so eventually we’ll be able to move past it. Take time to assess the damage. What can be repaired, what needs to be replaced and what needs to be removed? And most definitely, take time to build a new way of life that is strong and solid and learned.

Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls your life.”

Akshay Dubey

Lies have a catastrophic nature. They destroy everything in the vicinity without prejudice and lack sensitivity. The liar has broken pieces they can’t see or can’t mend or they’re unwilling to mend. The target now has broken pieces too, but also has the choice to move on from this explosion and heal what’s been shattered, possibly, with a better understanding that all we can do is live fully knowing the risks that nothing is or will ever be perfect.

Most likely we’ll be lied to in our lifetime. Yes, it hurts and yes, it’s hard to process, but it’s how we handle it that makes the difference. Have courage. You can make it through this!

Keep it Simple,

Just Teri

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