There are times when the place we’re at seems less attractive than the place we want to be. In that place, the grass is always greener, the days are always brighter, things are always easier to handle, and we’re always happy. Happier than here, for sure.
This is an illusion. It’s the belief that the problems we have are tied to a place. It’s not us. Not our choices. Not our actions. Not our reactions. It’s the place that is the root of all that is going bad for us. It contributes to feelings of stress, social anxiety, depression, OCD or substance abuse. If we could only get away from here and move to over there, life will be easier.
Hmmm, it’s a beautiful daydream. It’s hopeful and comforting to think relocation is the key and can solve our troubles. If so, life’s problems would be much simpler to resolve. Pack up the good parts of our life and leave behind all the unwanted, disappointing, shameful and distressing decisions we’ve made by moving to a place that appears to be nothing but rainbows and a life of happy emojis.
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”Viktor E Frankl
Well, let me share something I’ve discovered on my journey of living a more peaceful life. We aren’t trapped anywhere. We have the key in our hands and the key is living in the present moment.
It’s been studied and shared by psychologists that many times parts of depression come from living in the past, haunted by bad choices or events, and anxiety is when we project ourselves into the future, trying to anticipate what will happen and how we can control it. Both of which are non-existent and impossible and we give up living in the place of actual power and influence. The present.
No, changing location will not be the magic pill to what ails us and typically, we fall into the same patterns of regret or control in the new, unblemished, clean-slate-place. If we fail to initiate change right where we stand, we surely won’t find success by changing the background.
Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness.”Eckhart Tolle
What’s possible? Making a stand, right where we stand. Right here. Right now. The secret ingredient is mindfulness. Living in the moment. It is widely accepted in the field of psychology that mindfulness centers our focus on what we’re doing, who we’re with and practicing mindfulness helps us dial in to our emotions, thoughts and physical state so we can consciously choose our best option.
What’s good about this? When we are aware of our current state such as fear, apprehension, insecurity or our body gets overloaded with adrenaline, ready for fight or flight, or our thoughts get stuck on replay that we won’t succeed, don’t have the skills or don’t deserve success, we can either be honest and share our feelings with other people and ask for help to diffuse our fears, engage in deep-breathing exercises or body relaxation to re-center our focus, or possibly take a “time-out” or reschedule. We get to choose.
There is no other time that exists other than the present moment! All we have is here and now and practicing mindfulness about what we’re doing, and how we feel is the first step in helping to create a more comfortable today, a more peaceful now.
Keep it Simple,