Feeling Good in Your Skin

delicate lotus

Nude sketch of woman sitting from behind

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.             ~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

You are at a party and see another guest walk in. She’s dressed like a Hollywood star. Exceptionally attractive. You can’t help but look her up and down, beginning with her luscious head of hair, coiffed to perfection. Next, you stare at her flawless makeup, then onto her stunning jewelry, dreamy dress, Cinderella-like shoes, and a seemingly custom-built body that fills the certain-to-be designer dress like a dream.

How do you respond?

Do you admire this vision of loveliness, or do you immediately begin to judge yourself?

Many woman may do a little of both.

Does the beauty of someone else define your confidence? Is seeing someone near perfection a blow to your self-confidence, or do you admire the woman before you? Do you feel a sense of comfort that isn’t a product of makeup, clothing, or jewels? No matter who appears before you, do you feel so good about yourself that they become just another decoration at the party? If comparison is how we gage how we feel about ourselves, we’ve got a 50/50 chance of feeling good on any given day, not just a party or gala event. It’s a scary place to operate.

There’s another option with a much higher probability for feeling confident of your appearance any time you are in public. Sounds nice, right? It’s called authenticity. It’s being comfortable with who you are, regardless of what anyone else is wearing or doing or being. It starts with exploring what you like. What style feels most comfortable to you? Look through magazines, the internet, among your friends. The point is to discover what catches your eye and then try it on. See how you feel, how you carry yourself. This takes care of you on the outside.

The real pearl of wisdom is that looking good starts with how you feel about yourself. Inside. Because you can wear the most amazing outfit, but if you’re not feeling confident on the inside, you’ll lose it as soon as you disrobe. You won’t feel it again until you dress up once more. It’s a fleeting moment of self-assurance that’s only present when you put on your costume to play the part of a woman of composure. Wouldn’t it be more pleasing if you could wear a warm sense of poise all the time, 24/7?

Take some time alone. Some quiet time. Perhaps in the car or first thing in the morning over a ritual cup of coffee or tea. Take any time you can find. Think about how you would describe yourself to a friend. Now, be nice! Focus on the positive, disregard any negative that may creep in. It would be most beneficial if you would write it down. Maybe in a gratitude journal filled with daily thoughts, feelings or events that bring happiness and gratitude.

Bottom line, focus on the positive about you. On the inside. Nothing that can be added from the outside. Claim it. Feel it. Own it. You are one of a kind. You are fabulous. If you focus on what you like the most about yourself, you will be less inclined to judge yourself based on other people’s  appearances  because it just doesn’t matter. You are comfortable in your skin, no matter the decoration you may drape over it and that feels good!

So regarding my primary question of how you feel upon seeing a stunning woman, I hope you will be able to answer with conviction you admire her, because you feel comfortable being you. Please pose this question to your friends to evoke a discussion on self-awareness and self-love. Two things I believe women need to encourage more in each other. If you found yourself being among the majority who self-loathe, use the striking woman you witness as inspiration to bring out your own inner-goddess. Start by taking time to reconnect and reinforce your self-love with the beautiful-you on the inside! Acknowledge her. Care for her. Encourage her. The reward is you will grow stronger and feel more confident and content. You’ll be feeling good in your skin and that feeling is priceless!

Keep it simple,
Just Teri

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